I have been pleasing everyone around me, it seems, all my life. I even bend over backwards to please the dog!!! Of late – COVID onward, I have begun to realise that all that pleasing people has done for me is fill me up with anger and resentment, turning me into a bitter, irrational, irritable not nice person. Being a people pleaser is not bad but can bring on anxiety and stress. This habit of pleasing people is so ingrained in me that my first reaction is still yes. BUT now I am pleasing when it suits me, my time not theirs. I think the anger in me makes it easier to be stronger in my resolve. I do feel a bit taller now and more confident in my independence. The constant feeling of being taken for granted is still there but we people pleasers must remember that the people we are helping do not have any idea we are cross and resentful inside because we don’t tell them. They just assume that all is ok because we make sure they do. When you stop people pleasing it is very hard to step back this ingrained habit but with little steps you can move forward.
Go to the link above for more help on this topic.
This little rant was inspired by an email this morning from Tiny Buddha that brought up all the emotions of being a P.P. It is very up front but true and does make you think.
If you choose to work with my experiences you must take full responsibility for your own health. Any comments must be relayed to the author.
Tiny Buddha Why people pleasers lie and what we gain when we share our truth