I’m Going with Low Self Esteem or…..

or is it an INFERIORITY COMPLEX?

Apologies for the Language below, it is not mine. I am showing you this poem from Philip Larkin because it is so true……

Philip Larkin

Philip Larkin > Quotes > Quotable Quote
 

Philip Larkin
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.”

― Philip Larkin, High Windows

I am discussing Low Self Esteem or Inferiority Complex and I would want you to know that my only qualification in this topic is my own experience of life and low self esteem. I feel this is the root of many anxieties and phobias such as social anxiety but it is a hard cookie to crack.

In psychology, an inferiority complex is an intense personal feeling of inadequacy, often resulting in the belief that one is in some way deficient, or inferior, to others.(Wiki). Whereas low self-esteem can result from various factors, including genetic factors, physical appearance or weight, mental health issues, socioeconomic status, significant emotional experiences, social stigmapeer pressure or bullying.[63]

A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following characteristics:[64][medical citation needed]

  • Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction.[15]
  • Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and feelings of being attacked.[15]
  • Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes.[15]
  • Excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease any petitioner.[15]
  • Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.[15]
  • Neurotic guilt, dwelling on or exaggerating the magnitude of past mistakes.[15]
  • Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any proximate cause.[15]
  • Pessimism and a general negative outlook.[15]
  • Envy, invidiousness, or general resentment.[15]
  • Sees temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions.[54]
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Individuals with low self-esteem tend to be critical of themselves. Some depend on the approval and praise of others when evaluating self-worth. Others may measure their likability in terms of successes: others will accept themselves if they succeed but will not if they fail.[65] People with chronic low self esteem are at a higher risk for experiencing psychotic disorders; and this behaviour is closely linked to forming psychotic symptoms as well.[66](Wiki).

So I reckon low self esteem and an inferiority complex have both originated from the actions of family, friends, peer occurring in our early childhood.. We all have feelings and moods going on throughout the day. In a self confident/high esteem person these fluctuations do not phase them but with a low self esteem these fluctuations of mood can be extremely important to them. People with poor self esteem and lack of confidence feel that how they react to circumstances is how they determine how they feel about themselves. Individuals with low self-esteem tend to be critical of themselves. Some depend on the approval and praise of others when evaluating self-worth. Others may measure their likability in terms of successes: others will accept themselves if they succeed but will not if they fail.[65] [66][67][68][69](Wiki with inspiration from Sharon Stillwell – hypnotist)

Where does self esteem come from? Self Esteem develops throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences especially through our childhood plays a big part in the shaping of our self-esteem, by being harshly criticised, shouted at, hit, ignored, ridiculed or teased or repeated failures in say school or sport. Our own harsh inner voice is then criticising, punishing and belittling ourselves causing low self esteem. And so it goes on, in every walk of life we knock ourselves to the point we don’t believe in ourselves and we feel a total failure.

What to do? I don’t know…….. but I am going to research ways for you try – coming up. Below is a link to Low Self Esteem Simple Psychology with more to come.

If you choose to take action on any of my experiences please take full responsibility for your own health

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