Again and again my mind is whirring. Same thoughts, same name. Never ending, bringing up emotions – anger, resentment, confusion, fear. I decided that I must have a persecution complex. In my usual way, as a distraction, I reach for my I pad and searched for information about this complex. On reading I decided that this complex was not me. Onto Anxiety and self persecution. Not what was needed. I moved onto feeling like no one loves you, persecuted by my own thoughts, obsessive thinking, putting pressure on myself and Can’t stop thinking about someone.
I found this blog article from HarleyTherapy.co uk
How to Stop Thinking About Someone (and Why it’s so Hard)
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As I went through this article and loving it I came across this – YOU HAVE BORDER LINE PERSONALITY DISORDER -more accurately called ‘unstable personality disorder. This is the important bit -IT MEANS YOU HAVE A DEEP FEAR OF REJECTION.
Please do read this article-It is very good.
It was like a light coming on. So that’s why I feel uncomfortable around people, family, new and old and friends. I put up a barrier, hide inside myself, don’t be me so it’s not me they see. I act out the other me, putting up a bravado, trying to prove I am likeable – you can love me. This all, unfortunately, has totally the opposite effect -it turns people away. It is not that they don’t like you, its that they don’t know you. As time goes on you hide inside yourself around everyone, this in turn makes you feel uncomfortable, insecure and wondering why no one likes you(in your eyes). All because of the underlying fear of rejection which you very probably didn’t know you had. BINGO!
Guess what – I am obsessing about this fear now! How did I get it, who to blame……….
What To Do? Get back to you very soon………..