Childhood Emotional Neglect

Pixaby

This is a very sensitive topic and in no way am I qualified to pass on any guidance. If you choose to act on any of the information I pass on in this blog you must take full responsibility for your own health.

When I first went to see a Councillor I actually got quite angry because she kept referring to my childhood. I resented the fact she was besmirching my family especially my parents. Of course as you do you go away and try to relive your memories to try to find a problem.

Example:-

I was the middle child who didn’t quite shape up to the other members of the family. Often ignored, humoured, my little acheivements dismissed. While I was not mistreaed or neglected in any major way the lack of attention and validation culminated over time made me feel like a general disappointment as a human being. Inadequate. (thank you for this quote though not sure where I got it from)

I can so relate to this quote coming from a family of baby boomers five. Dad away at sea or being a workaholic. Poor mum just didn’t have the time.

Below are links to Councillors who will describe and have advice far better than I.

Dr Gabor, Dr Bessell van de Kolkata
Children experience a lot of things growing up that we as a society don’t call traumatic but can still be traumatizing to a child. Dr. Gabor Mate and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk have done a lot of research on this
When we experience chronic anxiety or depression there are unhealed or unresolved issues held in the body, so the past is not really in the past, it is still affecting us as an adult.
As children, we often diminish how bad an experience was and then we might block it out or push it away. Or we might judge ourselves for not “getting over it,” believing it wasn’t that bad. Or we might judge ourselves for how we handled the situation as a child.
Perhaps a caretaker told us it wasn’t that bad and we have no reason to feel _______________ (afraid, devastated, angry, terrified, etc.)
Diminishing an experience might be a necessary coping skill as a child, but as an adult it hinders our lives and/or shows up as anxiety or depression. Often the trauma is 0-3 so we don’t remember the original trauma with words, leaving us unaware of the root issues.
𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞!

Below are links to articles of use if you are researching this topic.

Not enough attention Tapping Script

Starting at the Karate Chop

Feel the emotion inside, expand it and then tap on.

Even though I didn’t get the attention I needed from my family when I was growing up I accept who I am.

Even though when growing up I needed more attention than I got I accept who I am.

Even though not getting enough of the attention I needed this made me feel unloved I accept this.

EB I didn’t get the attention I needed

SE It made me feel rejected

UE Not getting the attention made me feel alone

UN I didn’t feel seen

UM I didn’t feel heard

CB I didn’t feel important

UA Nobody interested

TOH I didn’t matter

EB No matter how hard I tried I just didn’t get the attention I needed

SE Not heard

UE Not seen

UN Just there

UM Unimportant

CB Don’t matter

TOH So sad

EB I know they didn’t know

SE I know they did their best

UE No time

UN So busy

UM Not enough time for all

UA. They didn’t know

CB. Just so busy

TOH Not enough time

EB I need to let the sadness go

SE So you are not like your family

UE So you didn’t do well at school

UN In all their eyes I was useless

UM OR is it all in my own mind

CB IS it me creating all this inferioty

UA Feeling inferior

TOH So inferior

EB BUT are you

SE You are You

UE You were made differently to them

UN YOU are you

UM You are an individual

CB Time to live by your standards

UA Time to release you

TOH Time to crack the protective shell you have hidden in

EB Hiding from pain

SE Hiding from conflict

UE Hiding from lonliness

UN Hiding from sadness

UM Hiding from myself

UA So insecure

CB. Lost

TOH It is time to let it all go

EB You can put your head out there

SE Be the you that is hidden away

UE Release the sadness

UN You don’t need attention

UM You have attentionYou have YOU

CB. The past has faded away

UA The attention you need is with you

TOH Be YOU

Written with feeling by tapping4u

As usual you must take full responsibility for your own health

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: