RESENTMENT !!!!!!!
Ranklement, bitterness, bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly, anger, ill will, displeasure.
Poisoned Mind – Poisoned Body
Living with resentment is like taking poison expecting the other guy to get sick. This means you are the one that suffers.
Wikipedia – Resentment is a complex, multilayered emotion that has been described as a mixture of disappointment, disgust, anger and fear – unfairness. It is a generalized defense against a perceived unfair situation.
Resentment is a terrible emotion and one most of us don’t realise that we are carrying it around. This emotion is a draining resource creating stress and overwhelming any positive emotion. It can result from situations involving a perceived wrong doing from an individual or feeling used, taken advantage of, your achievements go unrecognised, emotional rejection or denial from another person or deliberate belittling or embarrassment by another person. The list could go on.
Resentment could also be about holding onto past grievances or holding a grudge.
Resentment has a strong component of SELF PUNISHMENT – we mistreat or distrust others as pay back for the perceived grievance but we are actually hurting ourselves. Resentment can be self diagnosed by looking for signs of faking happiness, dejection, sadness, dull ache inside, unhappy, anger, disturbed sleep and resentment shows in every line of the the face. Resentment is also a relationship destroyer be it friend or partner.
Life is short, time spent feeling angry or resentful about things that happened or didn’t happen is time squandered. Approach this emotion as an addictive state of mind – overthinking. Using resentment to get back at whoever is only punishing yourself. Acknowledge you cannot control the person who you perceived to have wronged. Forgive. Resentment isn’t only about big issues it can also be about little niggly things around the house like clothes dropped on the floor, not doing the washing up, playing to much golf, watching television for too long. The list is endless.
Taken from THE CHOICE – Embrace the Possible By Dr. Edith Ava Eger
( Holocaust survivor.)
I recommend everyone to read this book.
BY ALWAYS MEASURING ALL THE WAYS HE FALLS SHORT I HAVE STOPPED COUNTING WHO HE IS AND WHAT HE OFFERS. THE NEGATIVITY OF MY THOUGHTS ISN’T A SIGN OF SOMETHING WRONG WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP IT IS THE VOID I CARRY WITHIN ME.
Definition of PERCIEVE
- “become aware or concious of. come to realise or understand
- “INTERPRET OR REGARD SOMEONE OR SOMETHING IN A PARTICULAR WAY.
SO SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING OR DOES SOMETHING
we are not happy about,
WE REACT
NEGATIVELY and Resentfully
One must remember the person has every right to do what they want to do, its’ their life. IT IS HOW WE PERCEIVE THE ACTION THAT CAUSES THE PROBLEM.
What we need to learn is to not react. Is it important. Very easy to say I know but it works. It’s the way we look at the problem, not actually the problem itself.
Releasing resentment is very difficult as it is so multifaceted. I am working on a tapping script but if you need help now Brad Yates has a script at this locationhttps://www.google.com/search?q=brad+yates+resentment&rlz=1C1CAFA_enGB655GB655&oq=brad+&aqs=chrome.3.69i59l2j69i57j35i39j46i433j69i61l3.6333j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
and Nick Ortner at the tapping solution can help. https://www.thetappingsolution.com/blog/free-releasing-resentment-tapping-meditation/
Releasing Resentment
In this script we are using Telling a story– having a rant – releasing the stored emotion using the method described below. Inspired by EFT Universe
How to Tell the Story
A. It’s best to Tell the Story out loud. That tends to bring the story more to life and helps to bring the important issues to the surface. You can tell it to a mirror, a friend, a wall or talk to an imaginary friend (smile).
B. Start at a neutral point when there is nothing to be concerned about. An example might be having lunch with a friend just before having, let’s say, a car accident. This tends to ease you into the experience.
C. Most importantly, you must STOP telling the story when you feel any intensity whatsoever and tap on the emotion separately to release it.
D. At each stopping point, use the EFT Basic Recipe to address that intensity and, once released, continue the story to the next intense moment.
Stopping is critical to the success of this procedure. Most people are conditioned by conventional techniques to “be courageous” and to “feel the feelings” and to “be brave and gut through it.” Thus, if you don’t stop when intensity arises, you are likely to go right by an important healing opportunity. So, to repeat…
…if you don’t stop,
you have missed a healing opportunity!
You are looking for Aspects (different facets of the main emotion) here and this process often brings them to the surface without your having to dig. How perfect! Remember, we are looking for thoroughness so we want to “tap down” every ounce of the intensity involved.
Please recognize that each stopping point is an Aspect of the story and each such Aspect should be addressed as though it was a separate event. So, in the interest of being specific, you want to target one emotional crescendo, (Aspect) at a time with the Basic Recipe. So, for each emotional crescendo (Aspect)….
A. Estimate a 0-10 intensity rating on this part of the story.
B. Keeping in mind the “accident example” from the Finding Aspects article, design your Setup and Reminder Phrases to target the part of this emotional crescendo that caused the intensity (note that the emotion involved is mentioned in the Setup phrase. For example:
“Even though I was furious when she said that to me…”
“Even though I cringed with fear when I saw that horrible thing…”
“Even though I felt guilty when that cop was chasing me…”
“Even though I was really angry about that…”
C. Use the EFT Basic Recipe and keep evaluating intensity before and after each round until the intensity is down to zero or a low tolerable level.
D. Each emotional crescendo might have a few Aspects of its own, so once you use the EFT Basic Recipe on the most obvious one, go through that part of the story again to see if there is still intensity. If so, repeat the step above.
E. Once the intensity has been released from that crescendo, resume the story and look for another stopping point. Also, be aware of your possible tendency, while telling your stories, to jump ahead to the most intense crescendo(s). You know what is coming in your story, of course, and thus you will often access the emotions before actually getting to that place in the story. Just treat this intensity as you would any other stopping point.
F. Once you have tapped through all the intense moments of the story then start from the beginning, Tell the Story again, and stop for any intensities that may arise. Don’t be surprised if there is still more to address … just be as thorough as you can.
G. Repeat this process until you can tell the story nonchalantly … like it was a shopping trip. This should collapse all or most of the Aspects. For good measure, Tell the Story tomorrow morning or next week to see if anything is left. Sometimes, letting time go by will bring up remnants (Aspects). If so, repeat the process until you achieve a more thorough success.
Tapping Script for Resentment
Focus on the strength of your resentment and begin to tap on the karate chop (side of hand).
Even though I feel so much resentment I respect how I feel
Even though I have so much resentment held inside I I accept how I feel
Especially because this resentment is eating me up I will love myself and respect how I feel
EB All this resentment
SE Filled with negative emotions
UE So much anger
UN So much bitterness
UM So much sadness
CB So much resentment at being made to feel like this
UA It is so unfair.
TOH Making my world black
EB I am shocked at the depth of my resentment
SE I hate feeling resentful
UE Another negative emotion
UN I feel this resentment in my body
UM It feels unfair the way things happen
CB It shouldn’t be like this.
UA So much resentment
TOH So much sadness
Example of Telling the Story
EB I was treated so badly
SE It was so unfair
UE All my hard work
UN Destroyed
UM Not wanted
CB Wish I knew what I had done wrong
TOH So much pain
EB So much resentment
SE Making my world black
UE From being a major part of a team I was cast aside and I have no idea why
UN It is years now but the resentment is still there and I know it is time to release it
UM Release the anger and the low self-esteem caused by being dumped
CB I am so angry – tap on releasing anger
TOH So much bitterness – tap on bitterness
And so it goes on. Keep going until you feel relief.
Now tapping on the positive
EB It feels safe to release this resentment
SE It is ok to let it go
UE I am releasing my resentment
UN Moving on
UM Releasing the resentment that has been holding me back
CB Letting resentment go
TOH I’m ready to be free.
Tapping 4 U 